Although there has been little research to date investigating same sex domestic violence, anecdotal and clinical experiences and the research that has been conducted indicate that female couples experience violent relationships at the same rate as heterosexual women (Elliot, 1996).

FACTS

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs' 1998 report suggests a domestic violence prevalence rate of between 25 and 33% in same sex couples, comparable to the findings on prevalence in heterosexual couples.

Physical aggression for conflict resolution was used by 47% of lesbians and gay men in the Kelly and Warshasky study (1987)

In a report from Health Canada NONE of the women who self-identified as being in abusive lesbian relationships sought help from police, shelters, or crisis lines.

How do lesbians experience domestic abuse?

While the majority of issues will be the same for same sex domestic abuse as for heterosexual people e.g. undermining self-esteem, violence etc., there are a range of other ways that perpetrators attack and abuse LGBT people with whom they have a family, partner or other intimate relationship.

Verbally abusive control

• Threats to 'out' someone
• Undermining sexual orientation
• Belittling transgender (not a real man / woman) and encouraging others to do the same
• Lifestyle control
• Forcing someone to act 'straight'
• Controlling levels of 'outness', preventing being 'out'

Emotional & psychological control

• Placing blame for sexuality (you made me lesbian)
• Blame for loss of family / friends
• Threatening to seek custody of children because of sexual orientation / gender identity

Physical abuse and control

• As with heterosexual domestic abuse physical violence, sexual violence and threatening behaviour.

The effects and consequences of domestic abuse

As with other sufferers of domestic abuse, the effects and consequences for lesbians may include:

• Self harm or suicide
• Fear
• Denial
• Withdrawal
• Fear of contact with family or friends
• Barrier to emotional growth
• Long-term effects on emotional, physical and mental health
• Unable to form close relationships and bonds

Additionally, LGBT people may begin to identify abuse with sexual orientation or gender identity (internalising the idea that this is what an LGBT relationship is like), which can be supported by a societal view (what do you expect if you are going to be LGBT?). There is also the potential loss of children due to homophobic co-parent, family and judicial system.