FAMILY GROUP Parenting Bullying in School
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Protecting Our Kids at Primary School We got a call recently from a mother who has several young children and a female partner. One of their children was getting bother about having two mums from another child. Even though the comments were relatively inoffensive, they were concerned that it might escalate to more serious bullying if not addressed, so she asked the school to deal with it.
But when she went to the Catholic Maintained primary school with her concerns, they said they couldn’t discuss lesbian relationships in the school and there was nothing they could do.
Obviously this was not the response she was hoping for, so she phoned us for help. We put in a call to The Children’s Law Centre, The Council for Catholic Maintained Schools, the Department of Education Equality Unit, and the Equality Commission on her behalf.
She found the information we got helpful, and we suspect that this is probably something a lot of kids of with lesbian and bisexual parents face at some point in school, so we have compiled it here to share with you.
What does the law say? It is against the law for a primary school to discriminate against children who are lesbian or bisexual, and children whose mothers are lesbian or bisexual.
Can primary schools refuse to deal with homophobic bullying on religious grounds? NO. ALL primary schools have to provide a safe learning environment for your child, and have to take reasonable steps to stop bullying when it is brought to their attention.
It is not against the law for a primary school to say that the Catholic faith says that lesbian relationships are not in line with their teachings, but it is against the law to use this as an excuse to stop homophobic verbal or physical abuse.
All primary schools have to have an Anti-Bullying Policy, which should address homophobic bullying just the same as sexist, racist, or sectarian bullying.
What do I do if my child is being bullied? If your child is being given a hard time about his or her family situation, or because you are lesbian or bisexual, write down all the incidents that have happened, including the date and details of who was involved and what happened.
Tell your child’s teacher what has happened and ask them to deal with it. Tell them what your expectations are and give them time to sort it out. It is a good idea to ask to see a copy of the school’s Anti-Bullying Policy at this point.
If the teacher doesn’t take reasonable steps to resolve the situation, or if the bullying continues, then ask to speak to the Principal face to face. Explain the situation and ask them how they have followed the Anti-Bullying Policy to protect your child. Tell them what you want to happen and suggest how you would like it to be resolved. Then give the Principal a couple of weeks to resolve it.
If the situation continues after that, you can make a formal complaint to the school’s Board of Governors. Put your complaint in writing and ask to meet them face to face. They will have to investigate whether the Principal has followed the Anti-Bullying Policy and taken reasonable steps to stop the bullying your child has experienced.
In the unfortunate situation where the Board of Governors don't investigate it properly, or if they simply side with the Principal, you can then go to the Department of Education and ask them to investigate the school.
At this point you can also involve the Children's Law Centre and the Equality Commission who may help you take a case against the school, but hopefully it will never get to this stage!
Where can I get support?
Lesbian Advocacy Services Initiative (LASI)
Feel free to contact LASI (www.lasionline.org/about-lasi/contact-us) at any stage in this process for support – that’s what we’re here for! We can get you information you need, or even speak to the school on your behalf.
Join the LASI Family Group (www.lasionline.org/family-group). This group meets the last Tuesday of every month in Belfast and is made up of lesbian and bisexual women who have kids or who are planning to have a family in the near future. It’s a relaxed and friendly group and you will probably enjoy meeting other mums who understand your situation. They have probably experienced many of the same things you are feeling and experiencing with their own kids, and will offer a sympathetic ear when you need to vent your frustrations and concerns.
The Children’s Law Centre
The Children’s Law Centre Philips House 123-137 York Street, Belfast BT15 1AB Tel: 028 90 245704 Chalky Freephone – free advice for kids and young people about their rights: 0808 808 5678 (open 9 am – 5pm week days) Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.childrenslawcentre.org/
The Equality Commission
The Equality Commission Equality House 7-9 Shaftesbury Square, Belfast, County Antrim BT2 7DP Tel: 028 9089 0890 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.equalityni.org
Council for Catholic Maintained Schools
Council for Catholic Maintained Schools 160 High Street, Holywood, County Down, BT18 9HT Tel: 028 9042 6972 Web: www.onlineccms.com
Northern Ireland Council for Integrated Education
Northern Ireland Council for Integrated Education Aldersgate House 13-19 University Road Belfast BT7 1NA Northern Ireland
Tel: +44 (0) 28 90 236200 Fax: +44 (0) 28 9023 6237 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.nicie.org.uk
Northern Ireland Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY)
NICCY Millennium House 17-25 Great Victoria Street Belfast BT2 7BA Telephone: (028) 9031 1616 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.niccy.org
EACH
You can contact the Education Action Challenging Homophobia (EACH) free helpline: 0808 1000 143 (Mon to Fri, 10am to 4pm).
Department of Education
Department of Education Equality Unit Rathgael House Balloo Road Rathgill Bangor BT19 7PR Telephone: 028 9127 9279 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.deni.gov.uk
DE’s publication 'Pastoral Care in Schools: Promoting Positive Behaviour’ offers detailed guidance, practical initiatives and case studies to support schools to tackle bullying. The guidance specifically states that racist, homophobic, sectarian or other offensive name-calling is a form of bullying.
This guidance is intended to stimulate discussion within a school around the issue of bullying and to encourage collective ownership of the issue and the actions to be taken to counter it.
Pastoral Care in Schools: Promoting Positive Behaviour
The attached leaflet may also be of interest
YouthNet NI
YouthNet NI 5th Floor, Premier Business Centres 20 Adelaide Street, Belfast BT2 8GD Tel: 028 90331880 Fax: 028 90331977 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Web: www.youthnet.co.uk
Leave It Out is a resource developed for post-primary schools by YouthNet NI, The Rainbow Project and Save the Children. It encourages Boards of Governors, principals, teachers, support staff and pupils to take collective responsibility for much needed changes in attitudes and behaviours within the school community.
PRIDE was the pilot project which led to the resource materials which were produced for Leave it Out. Download the evaluation of PRIDE |
